Waiting Game
by HisPirate
Summary: A dedicated Ballerina—devoting her life to dancing with a passion. A letter from her estranged brother brings up questions about herself. When she's saved by a man, she gives herself freely over to the other side of the tracks. She lets go for a nigh of passion with an underground fighter and it spirals into something she can't even stop. AU. Mature. FourTris.
1. Prologue

**Waiting Game**

**Summary**_**:**__ A dedicated Ballerina—devoting her life to dancing with a passion. A letter from her estranged brother brings up questions about herself. When she's saved by a man, she gives herself freely over to the other side of the tracks._

**Prologue**

Unconventional beauty—yes that was the only word that could describe what she was, or rather how she moved. Anyone that watched her could see the dedication and the rough years of her own abuse upon her body. The strength that she found within herself to keep her body strong and make it move with the grace and artistry, could not be found in any other dance company.

She kept to herself, stayed in the back of the class and never spoke up. Her eyes were filled with unused life, the wicks ready to be ignited from someone's touch.

Tris yearned for the freedom that so many others had. She had an incurable lust for life, despite her demure stature. She was a Ballerina for the Chicago dance company and one of their best, though she was never vicious enough to fight for the parts that counted towards her career.

Living with her mother was tough, her parent's divorcing had left her in a state of shock that she never could seem to let go of. Her father left them and soon her brother followed leaving just her mother and her.

The years of abuse went on for a decade and continued.

She was an unconventional beauty, one that when faced with fears; threw herself into dance and embodied her role. Dancing was a quick escape from life and how she was taken for granted by what was left of her family and her associates.

She wasn't just beautiful but the way her mind worked, created these visions that came to life through her movements. When she danced alone, without music, was the best because she danced to the rhythm of her heartbeat.

It also wasn't until she came home early one day and found a letter in the mail addressed to her. Seeing that it was from a prison in Chicago she dismissed it until she opened it up and her eyes skimmed over the words. She hid it in her room along with the other important things to her; she would need to go visit her brother soon. She needed her answers.

She was transforming, her demeanor changed and she slowly became a stranger to herself.


	2. Chapter 1

**Waiting Game**

**Chapter One**

I kept my eyes closed as I danced, feeling the music flow through my veins—my heartbeat in tune with the piano keys. Mademoiselle Natalie had requested a demonstration for the Nut Cracker. She had worked with me since I was five years old, training me for the spot of prima ballerina within the company. She believed that I could be good enough to be recognized nationally at some point.

Unfortunately not everyone agreed with her, the private investors were looking for someone else to represent their company; a sensual ballerina willing to ruin her reputation.

I kept my eyes shut and moved into a double pirouette, keeping the smile on my face as I ended up back in first position. I bowed my body forward before lifting back up, my head held high when I curtseyed to the rest of the class. She had taught manners and good etiquette among the entire dance lessons that I received from her.

Natalie was like a second mother to me, not that I really had a first. My Biological mother was—a monster. She shouldn't have been allowed to reproduce.

"Very well done Tris." She smiled at me and walked forward and pressed her hand against my waist.

"Do you all see her core? It is strong, she draws all her strength. If she were on a plum line she would be perfect because she can balance herself properly. I need all of you to show me this perfection" She called out to the class and released me; I slowly dropped onto the bottoms of my feet. Pointe work had been my specialty since I was eleven years old.

"Yes Mademoiselle" the girls nodded and were quickly dismissed to the barre for their exercises. I watched Natalie instruct the other girls as I quickly stretched and took my place besides them, particularly next to the only friendly girl in our class, Chris. She was the only one of the other dancers that was nice to me, we were never competing.

She was one of the only girls too that didn't feel the need to try to push me around, we were a competitive dance company but they took it to extremes. Last performance they locked me in the janitor's closet. The tight spaces made me freak out and I ended up in the hospital. Chris was the girl who found me and told our creative director, he was furious beyond belief.

"Plié my loves—yes good" Natalie walked over to each of us to make sure that our ankles were holding up. Finally she walked around to Chris and me.

"You have perfected the technique ma chérie. Dance with passion, be wreck less—within reason of course" her laugh was like wind chimes.

"Yes Mademoiselle" I nodded and closed my eyes.

I felt her soft hands on my back, running over my spine. I knew my posture was almost perfect, she pressed against my shoulder blades and patted them gently before moving on. I wanted to dance like some of the other women; they looked so graceful that it was effortless.

Our class went on for two more hours until we were dismissed for lunch.

"Tris, you really did amazing. I can see you improving again" Chris smiled at me as we walked together through our hallways and into the changing area.

"You think so?" I questioned.

"Yes! Mademoiselle Natalie and the investors are sure to pick you for Clara and maybe even the Swan Queen when we end our season." She said excitedly. Chris was the only one who actually was rooting for me.

"I don't know, your technique has really come along since last season. You may become our Prima Ballerina now that Lauren is gone" I commented.

"Nah, I don't know if I'm really ready for that position yet anyway. I have a lot I need to work on before trying to embarrass myself" she laughed and pulled on one of her pea coats. Chicago was always cold and since it was approaching winter, the temperature was dropping rapidly. I pulled on my old oversized coat and my fingerless gloves.

"Ready to go get lunch?" she asked.

"Of course, are we going to go try that new little bakery around the street?" I questioned as we made our way out of the building, avoiding the other dancers.

"Duh, I heard that they had some of the best cake ever and their coffee is to die for. Mademoiselle Natalie told me we needed to ask for Tori and she would hook us up with something good and good for us." Chris smiled and hooked her arm into mine as we braved the damn weather.

I hoped that we wouldn't run into any trouble, the bakery we wanted was right on the edge of a gang's territory in the city. Everyone knew about them and feared them, the flames on their forearms, indicating who their loyalty lay with. I pulled Chris with me when I saw the light turn green.

"So how are you and will?" I asked her. She didn't exactly like to talk about him, he was messed up in a lot of things that she could never pull him out of. He had chosen the activities over here a thousand times over but she never left.

"He's—he's okay. He just healed from his arm breaking. He didn't come home the other night though so I'm kind of worried. I think he just needs help and he'll come to me when he's ready" she sighed out. I knew it was hard for her; she loved him more than herself sometimes where it scared me.

"It'll happen. These things take time?" I left it open.

"Yeah, how is your mother?" I stiffened slightly and my hand automatically searched for the scar on the back of my neck, swallowing hard I pushed myself forward with her in tow.

"The same" I replied harshly.

"You know Tris if there is something you ever need like a place to stay…" she trailed off and in that moment I knew that she knew.

"I'm fine, look at the bakery its right there!" I covered up quickly and we looked both ways before running across the street through the traffic. It was a quick thrill, like always and soon we were laughing while we walked through the door.

"Tris, has anyone ever told you that you are either stupid or just simply crazy for that" Chris managed to get out.

"You would be the first" I blushed and we walked over towards the counter where there were a ton of pastries and delicious looking cakes in the window.

"Wow" I mouthed to Chris silently.

"Excuse me?" Chris said and the woman who was in the corner came over, her hair was pushed over to one side of her head much like my own hair style, though she had a few dreads and her skin was far darker. She looked very Hawaiian, I let my eyes trail over her tattoos that were displayed while Chris did all of the talking.

"Ah so Natalie sent you over, she's an old friend of mine." My eyes snapped up at this. I never heard Natalie talking about Tori. Maybe she was a dancer at one point; she had the body for it.

"I will be out with your specials soon. Feel free to sit at one of the tables until it's done. It will only take a few moments." She smiled and I felt her eyes on me as we walked away, almost as if she was appraising me for something.

"This place seems so cute, we're coming back" Chris decided and picked up her cellphone and I did the same with my own, 7 missed messages from my mother. I clicked off my phone and stuck it in my purse and looked away from it and out the window. I used to enjoy people watching when I was younger until my mother burned me on the back of my neck, it was rude.

I was to only be a ballerina and her perfect little girl. I was not to do anything but that, though in the moments I wasn't with her I observed others and their movements.

I watched as a man and woman kissed on a park bench and a dull ache in my chest began to form. I squashed down the feelings; I was going to be a prima ballerina. I don't have time for _that. _I looked away from the window and stretched out my legs, cracking my toes within my comfy snow shoes.

"You know that you can have that, your mother doesn't have to know" Chris said gently and reached her hand over to me and grasped my hand.

"I—I don't know what you are talking about" I dismissed it. I strived for perfection and a boyfriend would only make that harder.

"Here you go girls, two specials" Tori said and placed two trays in front of us. A beautiful salad and a half of sandwich and a small piece of chocolate cake. I looked away from the dessert, we probably shouldn't eat that.

"I already portioned it to what Natalie said was allowed, you two deserve it. I heard you are one of the best. She talks about you all the time Tris" Tori smiled and sat down at the table with us.

"I don't know about the best, I just try really hard" I hung my head and let my hair fall in front of my face.

"Oh she is the best, don't let her fool you. I'm hoping she makes Clara this year." Chris said proudly as if I was her child.

"Try outs are next week. I think I may have a shot this time" I told Tori.

"I believe you will do fine, I will be in the rooting section for you" she smiled and leaned back in her chair with her leg crossed over her other.

"So, what brings you girls to this part of town? It's pretty dangerous here." Tori said softly and I saw her eyes flicker to behind me, I kept my breathing steady and watched her form.

"We heard you were the best at what you did and we couldn't stay away once Natalie bragged about this place. She's a big fan" Chris answered.

"I'm glad to hear it, next time you should let me know and I'll bring you the lunch. I would rather you don't come to this part especially if you are Natalie's girls. She wouldn't be happy if something happened to you and either would I" She said slowly.

"Like what?" I asked curiously.

"We have quite a few fights around here, innocents are lost all the time and you two are very pure for the likes of down here." She smiled.

"We'll keep that in mind, were you a dancer?" Chris questioned.

"I used to dance long ago with Natalie, then I got into a car wreck and my dancing days were gone. I still manage to go to every opening and new performance that you girls put on though. I have box seats. I've seen you both dance; I can see why she takes particular interest in you Tris. You remind us both of how we used to dance." The smile that was on her face quickly diminished and she got out of her chair and walked out of the shop right into a tall man. He looked like he was in his mid-twenties and he had dark brown hair, almost black.

They started arguing and Tori motioned to us and then pushed on his chest before he started laughing. I quickly finished up my lunch and looked over at Chris who had a petrified look on her face.

"Chris?"

"Christina?" I questioned and waved my hands in front of her face. I watched her line of sight and passed Tori and the man was Will. He was talking to a few men and you could see that a deal had just gone down.

Before I had a chance to grab onto her she had her coat on and purse and was off to cross the street towards him. She had rushed through traffic without looking either way, unlike her.

"William!" she called out and I grabbed my coat and purse and ran out after her. I could hear Tori calling out after us but I ignored them and grabbed onto Christina, after racing through the traffic myself, who was in tears right now.

"You promised you wouldn't" she screamed at him and slapped him hard across the face.

"Chris I—I can't help it. I'm sorry" muttered remorsefully.

"No, not anymore. You need to get your shit out of my apartment—yes _my _apartment" she emphasized it and turned into me and I held her as she cried. Will always had a knack for getting himself into situations and it took days for Chris to forgive him.

"You don't understand Chris; I'm in a lot of trouble. I need this; it's the only way I'll get out of it. I'm not using, I'm just selling right now" He tried to explain and she was having none of that.

"No! You choose this over me and I can't take this. You either get your act together or we are over" her voice broke at the last part.

"I'm done, I'm clean. This will be it okay and I'll get an office job—anything just please Chris" He was hanging onto her now and I stepped away towards Tori and her companion, he looked me over and his face hardened further. I stood next to Tori while they argued it out on the street.

"Will she be okay?" Tori whispered quietly to me and I nodded.

"If this isn't the last time though for him then she'll be done with it, I think if she knew why then it would save their relationship" I sighed. We didn't know who he worked for or anything else, we just knew he occasionally did drugs and sold them. He was a carrier for someone. We did know that he was not from dauntless though. There were no flames anywhere on his body, at least from what Christina had said.

"Tori, they need to go—now" the man spoke and Tori looked behind her and there were men walking our way.

"Will, get your girlfriend out of here" he commanded and Will looked passed us and nodded before grabbing Christina's arm and pulled her into an alleyway.

"I should get going" I said quickly and put my head down and started to walk forward.

"I'm calling Natalie, the girls aren't coming in. Go Four" I heard tori say and suddenly my arm was grabbed tight in the man's grip.

"You're coming with me" he pulled me through the street until we were running towards the other side of town and I was thrust against a motorcycle.

"Put this on" He mumbled and shoved a helmet to me and I put it on gently and with his help he strapped it into place and put on one of his own and got on, the engine roaring to life. He pulled me on and I held on tight to him, why was I going with him? Tori seemed to trust him and Natalie trusted her. My head was spinning and when we zipped off into the street, moving in and out between cars. I tightened my grip and closed my eyes resting my helmet against his back.

"Where do you live?" he asked. His voice was deep and very masculine.

"I—um East 84th street please" I yelled over the roar of the engine and he zoomed past cars and took a tight turn and I recognized my neighborhood. When I caught the entrance to my apartment complex and tugged on his shirt and we were finally slowing down, He stopped completely right next to it and got off and offered me an arm.

"Thank you for that—whatever it was that we had to leave. Christina is okay right?" I asked him.

"Will is going to take care of her; she is all he ever talks about. He's planning to propose soon I guess. You need to stay away from there alright? Don't come back." He said sternly and I nodded dumbly. His eyes were a beautiful navy blue.

"Keep to yourself" He took my helmet from me and put it on the back of his bike before riding off. He certainly was a mysterious man.

Four_? No, that couldn't be his name. Tori must have mixed it up with something but then again she knows him. What an odd name to call someone and he didn't even wear glasses. _

I stood there in a daze, what had just happened. I shivered at the thought of the possibility of what could happen if we stayed there longer. I made a mental note to call Christina but until then I had the house to myself until _she_ came home from her work.

I grabbed the mail from our slot and went through it, normally I never was allowed to get the mail, mother wanted me to stay away from it so I didn't lose any bills though how a twenty two year old woman could lose a bill, I would never know. I paid my own.

Bill, Bill, Bill, Letter from Chicago Prison, Bill.

I moved back a letter and held it up while I was in the elevator. This probably was sent to us by mistake. I scrunched up my face and looked at the hand writing. It said to Beatrice Prior. Someone from Jail had mailed me?

I went into my apartment and set down the rest of the mail and moved into my room shutting the door and placing my board up against it, my mother didn't believe in locks. She said they were dangerous in case one of us got hurt and we couldn't get out. The real reason was so she could sneak into my bedroom at night to watch me sleep.

I sat on the bed and took off my coat before picking up the letter and ripping it open.

_Dear Bea, _

_I know this may come as a surprise. I have been writing you every day since we haven't been together and I'm in jail. I know you probably want nothing to do with me; from whatever our biological mother has told you. _

_I'm so sorry for leaving you Bea but I need you now. Our father needs you and it turns out that who we thought was our mother, isn't. I need your help because I think you may know her and dad misses you a lot. He visits me once a week until I can get out. _

_I have done what they said I've done. I hacked into the government but it was only to find you. I covered my tracks and they have no clue why I looked for you. I slipped this to dad to send to you, this is his return address. _

_That woman you're with. Dad and her married but she isn't our mother, she carried us but we didn't come from her egg. There's something wrong with her and dad fought for custody of you until you were eighteen and every time he has come there she has turned him away._

_Please Beatrice. Just come talk to us, I don't know if you really hate us as much as she says but we need you and miss you. _

_There are also some things I need to talk to you about but that can be explained later. Please just come see us. _

_All my Love, _

_Caleb Prior_

My heart was beating fast and I brought a hand over my mouth to smother the sobs that came through my body. My father and brother were looking for me and this woman kept me? The questions that I had, were swarming in my head, I needed answers.

"Sweetie!" I heard her voice come from the front door and I scrambled to shove this letter in my box of special things and hid it in a hole under my mattress.

Everything had changed.

**/Hey everyone who has been reading this and got through this chapter, thank you for reading and hopefully you leave a review. **

**If you came over from my Never Look Back [The Walking Dead] Fan fiction then hey there and if you're new to reading my work. Please continue. This book I plan to explore quite a bit which is why it is rated M for mature. **

**We never see anything about abusive mothers, in different senses. I also want to explore a slow burn which most of you may know is my specialty. I almost went twenty chapters without a couple even saying they were an item. I have big plans for this story and I will be posting every Sunday starting this Sunday.**

**If you have questions, comments, concerns. Message and or leave it in your review. **

**Lots of Love**

**K. **

**Xxxx**


	3. Chapter 2

**Waiting Game**

**Chapter Two **

Grabbing the piece of wood from the door I slid it under the bed effortlessly and jumped back on and made myself calm down. I stared at my pink bed sheets and shuttered, she had kept me in this child's room for too long, and I had yet to leave it into adult hood.

Waiting on my bed I kept my head down and pretended to be interested in my toes, I massaged my feet and stretched them out, waiting for her to come into the room. I hadn't been nervous like this in a long time. I prayed silently that she wouldn't go snooping for anything especially if my work called her; she had requested that if I didn't come in then she should be notified. She told them it was for health reasons but she really wanted to keep tabs on me.

"Beatrice?" I heard her voice again and suddenly she was at the door leaning against it, a smile plastered on her face.

"Yes ma'am?" I asked quietly.

"You're home early, the production company called to let me know. It appears your instructor was adamant that you were okay but I had to see for myself. My precious girl" she walked over to me and gently brushed my hair from out of my face and I smiled up at her, as much as I could.

"Were you not feeling well?" she asked me gently.

"Christina and I went out. I just—I think it was something I ate" I quickly amended and looked away from her. Her hand trailed down over my head and she ran the tips of her fingers against my neck, where my scar was located.

She never remembered that she did it and assumed I had self-harmed. It was as if she went into a frenzy at the time and couldn't remember, or didn't want to remember that she had done it. She had heated up a spoon and held me down on the table and pressed it up to the back of my neck. She had done it again but on the inside of my thigh and pressed it into my skin leaving an open wound at the time. My skin was marred from that but no one ever questioned it when I grew up.

"You poor baby, stay in bed until dinner and maybe we'll go out" she smiled again and kissed my forehead.

"That would be great mom; the try outs for Clara are soon. I think I have a real shot" I smiled up at her and she clasped her hands together excitedly. Now that I knew she wasn't my mother I studied her face finally in depth. We really didn't look that much alike at all.

She had dark brown hair and a larger nose while I had a smaller square nose and light blonde hair. Her body structure was completely different than mine as well; we didn't look alike at all. Our skin was completely different too; I was much paler than her.

"You will most certainly get the part, you know when I was a dancer I danced the part of Clara. It could be the start of a tradition" she smiled and pulled my head against her chest. I wanted to ask her, if she wasn't my mother then she had an egg donated to her.

She had told me years and years ago that she had stopped her career to raise Caleb and I. How on earth did she do that if she chose it? I knew she blamed us for not being able to go further in her career but I just assumed that she had gotten knocked up.

"I hope so" I played with my fingers and hands, cracking them gently and looked away from her.

"I'm really tired, I think I'll take a nap mom" I said quietly and she nodded.

"My baby girl is going to be a star, you go take a nap. I'll wake you in a few hours and we'll go to a special place tonight" she said quickly.

"I haven't gotten the part yet mother, I don't think it should be that special" My voice was light, almost a whisper.

"You will, I know these kinds of things. How can they refuse you? You're the best dancer in the company now that all your competition is gone" She pressed her lips to my forehead and left the room and shutting it lightly after turning off the light. I crawled under the covers and pulled my phone out from my purse and texted Christina.

I lay in bed, contemplating what I would do. I needed to know if she really was my mother but how could I bring myself to question her. She would know about the letter and then I wouldn't have any answers.

Looking over at my phone that rested on my pillow I crept out of bed and knelt down next to the bed and fished out my box of goods. I pulled out the envelope that had my father's address and quickly sent it to Christina, she texted back that she was in fact okay. I told her it was for safe keeping later.

_**I'll keep it safe Tris –Chris**_

I smiled and thought hard on it, I would confront her about it and if she got upset, I'd leave. I could stay with my father and I knew how to get to the dance studio. I could tell them not to contact her anymore. I would fix this, I could make this right.

After so long I had a genuine smile on my face and crawled back into bed to take a real nap.

My dreams were all the same, I was dancing in a field, the earth between my toes as I spun out of control and heard other's laughs around me. I was free as a bird.

_I'm a bird._

I flapped my arms and let my head fall back, the sun shining on my face.

_Beatrice. _

_Oh Beatrice it's time sweetie. _

"_Beatrice!"_

I snapped back into reality and awoke, startled by my mother's figure over my bed. I looked up at her, fear in my eyes.

She looked mad and upset, the vein in her head was starting to pop out and in her hand crumpled was my letter that I received.

"What is this?" she asked outraged and threw it down on the bed. I backed up quickly on my knees and got on the other side of the bed and took the letter from her and backed up towards the door, away from my closet.

"It's a letter; they say they've been sending me a lot of them. Momma why didn't you tell me?" I asked her.

"They are liars. Those men wouldn't know the truth if it hit them over the head, they bend and twist it into what they want" she hissed and walked over to me and soon her hand was up against my throat holding me to the wall. I turned my head away from her face.

"Are you my mom…?" I questioned cautiously.

"Am I your mother?" she made a strangled noise then I felt her hand against my face and my head flew into the side of the mirror and I dropped down onto the ground, the letter at my feet. I held the side of my face and held back a sob.

"Of course I am your mother, who raised you? Taught you right from wrong? Who stayed up the nights you were sick. I am your mother, not that tramp." She hissed and bent down to my level and pulled my hair so that I was facing her.

"You are mine. They never understood the special _bond_ between a mother and daughter. We can't let them see because they don't understand and never will. Beatrice you will always belong to _me" _she stressed out the last word.

"I want to meet her, my real mom" I cried out and she was dragging me towards my closet. I thrashed against her arm and held onto it so she wouldn't tear out my hair.

"Momma!" I cried but was not met with any sympathy. She slammed me inside the closet and I quickly moved to the closed door and clawed at it.

"Please momma!" I begged and pleaded with her.

"This is for your own good Beatrice, you should not question your mother" she yelled outraged at me. I slammed my fist into the door and I could feel her weight on the other side, she was probably up against it holding me inside.

"Please momma, you're my momma just let me out. I'll be a good girl. I'll be your perfect girl" I chanted over and over again. I cried and slammed my whole body against the door but heard it lock and the light went out. I sobbed and slapped the door and leaned against it now as I lay curled up against it.

I swallowed and looked around the small space; I closed my eyes and covered my head. My chest was tightening and I felt my muscles getting tighter.

I hated tight spaces ever since I was a little girl, she knew it and used it to her advantage. I rocked myself back and forth, this wasn't real. _This isn't real._

_This isn't real. _

I rocked myself into a sleep,

**/I know it's a short chapter but I really needed to establish part of the abuse that she gets. Next chapter will probably be posted in a few days. I'm going to be posting a bit earlier just until I get enough chapters to my satisfaction and then ill only post on Sundays. **

**Thank you so much for the support and favourites that I'm getting from someone. I got a review and a pm from a few people saying that they really loved my writing style and thank you sooo much for saying that. It means a lot to me. **


	4. Chapter 3

**Waiting Game**

**Chapter Three**

I woke up in the closet, the dark was peaceful and I quickly tested the doorknob and I turned it slowly, I pushed myself up on to my feet and held on to the molding around the door and peered out towards my bedroom door. It had now been removed and I covered my mouth, she was going to take everything from me.

I walked out towards the kitchen to see her in the kitchen, she had done it again, and acting like nothing was the matter with what she did.

"Mom" I hesitated.

"There you are dear; I was just about to come wake you up. I put out a pomegranate for your breakfast. After dinner last night I realized that you really needed to cut back. I can't have my soon to be Clara and Swan Queen gaining weight." She said and gently took my face between her palms.

"You look just like me when I was your age, you're so beautiful Beatrice" she kissed my forehead and left me to go to her room. That was the scariest part of it all; she didn't remember or chose to forget. She ignored what she did and kept on with our daily lives.

I did my morning stretches and practiced in front of the mirror after eating my breakfast. I didn't know where to start.

I closed my eyes and concentrated on my body movements as I spun, I felt myself breaking down and quickly dropped to the ground and shoved the heel of my hand against my eyes, I wouldn't cry. I willed myself not to cry but soon they were straining my face.

I needed to get out of here.

I got up and quickly put on my things and grabbed my bag and shoved some clothes in it; I could tell _that woman_ that I was sleeping over a friend's house. Natalie would let me use the studio to sleep in for a few nights until I could figure myself out.

I swallowed and passed her bedroom. She sat there, painting photos of a woman I didn't even recognize, she looked like me though only older. She looked a bit like Mademoiselle Natalie. I knew that she and mother had danced together; maybe they were friends beyond that? Natalie didn't like my mother very much and for good reason. She saw the bruises that were left on me and the unconventional methods I had once used as a child to change into my leotard.

She had started _that _abuse when I was eleven years old. She told me that big girls did it all the time and would make me strip down into nothing but my white underwear; she never let me wear anything else. She said it was virginal and pure. She wanted to keep me that way but instead ended up ruining me. I was never attracted to women but I couldn't bring myself to now become intimate with a man.

When I was younger, when stripping out of my leotard or even putting it on I had shown signs of being sexual. She said the girls and other girl's mothers became outraged, I did it too 'raunchy' like an older woman would.

I had shown up with bruises against my thighs as well. I feared my mother as one would fear god, I was home schooled because of her and when I wasn't dancing or practicing I was with her the whole time.

She had only touched me once during my parents marriage, I didn't know what she was doing, she told me that it was okay because it was what 'mommy's do' and I didn't want to get her in trouble. My father told me that it was a no zone and no one should touch me there. I thought my mom would get in trouble and I never told anyone of _that_ abuse. Not even my brother Caleb, I assumed he was getting the same but as I got older her hate for men grew and I realized that she thought they tainted things.

I didn't know if maybe her mother did it to her but I knew then that I would never have a child. I didn't ever want to become like her. Abusive or have those monstrous urges that she had. So far, all I could do was pity children and for that I was grateful. It scared me that her genetics could possibly be in me but now I knew that we weren't a like. I was relieved.

"Mom, I'm going to work" I yelled out and quickly shoved my way through the door and slammed it behind me. I would go to work, get the address from Christina and then I would go visit my brother. I needed the answers and he was the only person that I could go too. Who was I?

I took the subway and stood their quietly, I hadn't ever had trouble. I didn't stand out in the crowd and normally it was only slightly packed. Work was late enough that there weren't that many business men and women on it and it wasn't so packed.

I put in my earphones, no music was playing but it got most people to leave me alone. I couldn't shake the feeling that someone was watching me though.

I looked over my shoulder and saw a man with blonde hair staring at me. He had tattoos and many piercings. He was attractive for sure but something about him was menacing. He glanced towards another guy across from him and they started my way. My head quickly snapped back and I looked down at my feet, gripping on the pole for dear life.

We stopped but it still wasn't at my place yet. Maybe I should get out and just walk. I watched them in the shiny pole come closer, suddenly one had his hand over my head and around the pole and I bit my lip. I scooted away from him but he only moved closer.

"Do you need me to move" I was scared and my voice broke.

"I like you just where you are" the man whispered, his head closer to mine. I glanced up and he was staring at me like a predator looks at their prey. People filed and off until we were moving again and I quickly let go of the pole and moved my way towards the front of the car where no one was sitting and held on that pole.

I handled myself well.

"Now, why would you do that? Eric and I don't bite" He grinned, his right canine tooth filed down into an actual canine tooth and his ear gauged.

"Leave me alone" I begged. I heard my voice break again and I looked away from them but this time the blonde, Eric, circled around me so I couldn't move. This week was soon becoming the worst week of my life. I knew we were coming close to my stop; I just had to wait a few more minutes. Keep them busy and they'd leave me alone.

"We can't leave you alone. We know your little boyfriend and we just can't let what he did go" he smiled.

"I don't have a boyfriend—I—I don't know what you're talking about okay?" I told them. I had no clue what they were talking about. I stared up at the one and his grin morphed into a frown and he looked over at Eric.

"You told me she was his girl" He growled.

"She is, she's with Four. I saw them on his motorcycle and he took her home" He insisted and my eyes widened and I looked down again. Just deny it.

"Do you know who Four is?" He questioned me.

I shook my head no frantically.

"I'm just a dancer at the ballet here. I don't know who you're talking about, please my stop is soon. I need to get off" I begged him; my voice sounded like it was on the verge of crying.

"She's lying" Eric spit.

"I really don't know anyone by that name, is that even a name?" I quickly amended and I dug my nails into my coat jacket. I just wanted to get out of here more than anything, obviously that Four was no good if he associated with these guys. This was the last thing that I wanted to do.

"But you are Prior's little sister, he never mentioned she was attractive" He lifted my chin up to his face and I ripped away from him as soon as we came to a stop.

"I don't want trouble, leave me be if you know—if you know what is good for you" I quickly smoothed out my jacket, I didn't know where the surge of bravery was coming from. _Our last name? _I walked away from them and quickly tried to make myself lost in the crowd of people. I was so close to being free. I walked across the street towards the theater and looked back over my shoulders. They were gaining speed on me. I picked up my speed and started sprinting towards the alley next to it; I could get into the back entrance and lock it.

I headed through the alley and quickly made a sharp left turn and threw myself through the unlocked back entrance door. I turned the switch on the lock and felt them run into the door and start banging on it. Security would get them maybe.

I laid my back against the doors and closed my eyes and sighed.

They knew my brother—what kind of trouble was he in now? My long sigh stopped when I saw Mademoiselle Natalie there; her cane that she used to correct us was in her hand.

"Tris is everything alright?" she asked.

"I don't know exactly. I just—have you seen Christina?" I asked her after a moment of thought.

"She is upstairs getting dressed; I know you had problems yesterday. Are they still happening today?" she questioned and walked over to me. Her arms wrapped around me and I nodded into her neck. I needed a motherly figure and she was it.

"I need to practice today thought, the try outs are soon" I breathed out.

"You can practice today; I'm having a one on one session with you today. Now tell me what is wrong? We can go to my private office?" she asked and I nodded. Her arms went around my shoulders and hugged me to her side while we walked to her office.

I hated being vulnerable; I didn't know any other way though.

"Now tell me" she locked her door and we sat on her couch.

"I got a letter from my brother and it said some things, my mother trashed it because it had some negative comments about her. Yesterday though some men were approaching us when we left the bakery and Tori told this man, Four, to take me away. He helped me and today two men come after me on the train and ask if he's my boyfriend. If he was they were going to—they were going to hurt me. "I kept my breathing steady.

"Unsavory things—about her? I am not surprised. What did he have to say?" she asked and smoothed down my hair.

"She's not my real mother and he's been looking for me. He's in jail now though; its how he found me. Those men knew him too. They asked me if I was and I just ran. I didn't know what to do." I replied honestly.

"Your brother has a way of getting into trouble doesn't he" she laughed and kissed my forehead.

"I just, I don't know what to do. I feel so lost. Christina has my Dad's address. I feel though if I go, I'm going to lose myself. I'm losing the Tris everyone knows" I sniffled and wiped my damp cheeks.

"You are lovely Tris but is that such a bad thing darling? To lose one's self means you are gaining who you really are. If you have to lose yourself, it means it was never really you to begin with" she smiled at me.

"Was she a prima ballerina, did she dance as Clara and the Swan Queen?" I asked suddenly. I needed to know what in my life was fake.

"Who poppet?" she asked as she warmed up some tea on her automated tea machine.

"The woman I call mother. Was she the great dancer, the image that she pushes onto me?" I questioned again.

"She was my understudy at the academy years ago. She was very upset that I never got sick during performances. She once broke into my dressing room and stole all of my costumes; I did not care if she did though. I had already done the performances and they belonged to the company. Andrew was not happy at all; your father was one of our investors. He still is however he is very silent. He keeps tabs on you, comes to the ballet every time you perform. He used to come with your brother before he was incarcerated. They didn't know your address and I was not allowed to know either" she explained as she made up two cups of tea for us.

"You know them?" I asked her. She knew them all this time and didn't say anything to me.

"Your father asked me to keep quiet on the subject; I am only allowed to help you when you come to me. He thought your mother was taking better care of you until I approached him. I was not allowed to have him here due to the restraining order your mother placed on him. It was lifted when you were twenty one and she never renewed it. She wasn't allowed since you were of legal age." She went on and slid the tea into my hands and I took a sip.

"Do you know how I can see my brother?" I asked.

"You can go see him after practice, I'm sure that he will love it. All you need to go is to the jail and he's there for now. They are thinking of letting him out soon, to do government work with his talent. All you do is ask to see Caleb Prior. They will do the rest" she said smiling before sipping her tea.

"I just, it feels like everything is falling down around me. When I'm doing good in ballet then my life is in shambles" I looked down into my tea.

"That is ballet" her broken accent was clear with this.

"It's ballet?" I laughed, it wasn't really funny but the irony of it was.

"Yes, when you are at the peak of your career and doing good. It means you are working hard and it also means you are neglecting your life. That's how it is, I once was in love. I had a wonderful man but I was Prima. I had obligations and I just couldn't do it until we separated, still just friends. He went with a coworker of mine and they had beautiful babies. We still talk but only as friends. We both have our own priorities" she said, looking off towards the window. The longing in her eyes could not be masked by her hard instructor mask.

"Do you still love him?" I asked and took a sip of my tea before putting it down.

"Always" Her voice broke and in that moment I realized she was really human, she was like me. She had made mistakes and it made her stronger. I gently put my hand over hers and gave it a gentle squeeze.

"We need you to practice Mon chérie. You will be Clara." She said determined and pulled me up and she left me to go wander into the dressing room to get myself ready. Chris was in there fixing her bun.

"Oh thank god you're alright" She rushed over to me and pulled me into a tight hug which I returned. I was worried about her too.

"Me? You were the one who I didn't know if you were okay? How are _things?" _I asked the last part more quietly.

"Were good, he finally opened up to me. He just, I understand him better and was good. We had a serious long talk after everything. I don't approve of everything but I understand him. What they're doing, it'll bring down the city of Chicago for good I think. The politics and everything" she said seriously and I scrunched up my brows in confusion.

"Shut down Chicago?" I asked her.

"The whole political thing, the government is going to come down" she said and I felt a shiver run through my spine.

"Can I stay at your place?" I quickly asked her.

"Of course, you don't even have to ask. I'll be there all day cleaning so after class or whenever just come over Hun, my door is always open. I'll give you the address and it seems like you have to do something" she said slowly.

"I do, I just. I'll explain later. My brother sent me a letter and my" I stopped mid-sentence, what did I even call her? She wasn't my mother but Christina was none the wiser to that. I pondered it for a moment and she looked utterly confused. "Birth Mom, went berserk. She locked me—she locked me in a closet this time" I stuttered out.

"Oh Tris, stay with me. You can stay permanently until you want to leave okay?" she rubbed my arms and I nodded.

"I can't just yet. I have some things to take care of." I told her. She nodded and went off with the other girls to dance together. I put my hair up in a neat bun and quickly stripped down and got into my leotard for dancing and put on my dance shoes. I was quick getting ready and just put on some simple gloss and went into the private dance room.

Mademoiselle Natalie was there along with a few other people. Surprisingly the mayor.

"Mon chérie, this is Marcus Eaton. He is here to congratulate you. Our office has decided that you will be representing us at his party next month. The government is looking to promote the arts more and what better way than to have our precious Tris here" her face was hard and I knew she didn't like what she was telling me and squeezed my shoulders. I moved closer and took the man's hand and shook it.

"Thank you for the honor" I bowed my head a little.

"We picked you specifically; your stage presence is quite impressive. Hopefully you will be able to get more people involved with the arts" his smile was strangely sickening.

"Hopefully I can inspire many to do just that" I said and looked away from him and to Natalie.

"Am I going to practice today?" I asked her softly.

"You will be practicing for the part of Clara. The Mayor here and some of his constituents wish to watch. I assured them you were okay with it. They are fascinated with you." I knew then that I was going to be sucked into a political game I had nothing to do with. Ever since I met Four yesterday there had been nothing but talk of him and all of this chaos in my life.

I nodded and quickly went into position and looked at my male partner, Al. He was there for me to dance with, he wasn't the best male dancer but he would do for now.

The music played and I went into my world. I danced with Al and kept myself into it as much as possible. I spun out and away from him before walking on my toes towards him; he followed and soon went on bended knee and presented me with air. This was supposed to be the part of the nutcracker. I touched the air delicately before spinning away and leaned down, lifting my arm in the air and placed my hands close to the ground as if I was playing with the nut cracker in this position.

The music was ending soon for the opening part and I danced with Al, we danced in sync and I realized he had gotten better than our last performance.

He lifted me up and twirled me around, I kept a smile on my face and he gently placed me down in front of him and I curtseyed with his hand still in mine. I was particularly impressed with him at the moment and I was beaming at him.

"You've gotten really good Al, dancing with you was lovely" I smiled.

"You too Tris" he blushed and ran his hands through his hair. I used to think he was just here for the pretty girls and because male dancers were rare. He really had some talent under him. I nudged him with my hand and laughed.

"Dancers"

"Sorry Mademoiselle" I giggled.

"That was wonderful" the mayor clapped and I looked at the people surrounding him and my eyes landed on the blue eyed man who had seemed to mess up my life.

Four.

"Are they not good?" Mr. Eaton said and nudged Four with his shoulder and a look on his face I couldn't recognize.

"They are indeed" he hissed out and his eyes grew darker, the navy blue that they look as if a storm was brewing away inside of him. I did a quick courtesy towards the mayor and his peers. I kept my head bowed and Natalie walked over to me and took my hand in hers, giving a reassuring squeeze.

"My dancers are the best; Tris here is practicing to become our second Prima at this company." She said proudly and I felt the redness of my blush take over my face and I wanted to bury my face into her shoulder.

"We will come see her when she is, I'll be able to say I met the prettiest girl in Chicago at the ballet" Mr. Eaton bragged. Four looked like he was in a military stance and his outfit sure reflected it. I couldn't help but stare at him; this man was a mystery and a Rubik's cube of puzzles. You would think you figured him out and now I wasn't too sure.

"You are staring" Natalie said quietly next to me.

"That's him" I tilted my head, I wanted to figure him out.

"Go dance one more number for them and I will let you out early." She insisted and pushed me away towards Al.

"Can they dance anything else?" Marcus asked.

"Tris is a talented dancer in Ballet and a few other areas. She is very brilliant. She does a great interpretive dance and some hip hop but she chooses ballet." Natalie's voice rang with pride as Al and I continued to dance.

We had finally finished and when I looked over at our audience he was nowhere to be seen. I looked at Natalie searching for an answer.

"Tris, you need to head out to your appointment. Go to your dressing room. I will handle everything from here" she said loudly enough so no one would stop me and I walked out of the room before getting to the hallway and ran the rest of the way.

I pushed through the doors for the changing room and there he was. He was at my station and gently ran his finger over some of the photos that I kept there. I had a picture of my brother and me from our childhood and another photo of Natalie and me from when I got the first big role. I was sixteen then.

He didn't seem to take notice of me or if he knew I was there he didn't pay attention to me. His eyes were glued to the photos I had and finally he turned around.

"You really are Caleb Prior's sister" He muttered.

"I am—what do you want?" my voice gaining more volume.

"I'm taking you to see him today, god he's going to be pissed" he said looking over me and I felt naked under his gaze, I wrapped my arms around my chest and glared at him.

"How do you know my brother?"

"We work together, he's a good friend. Let's just say that if you're his family then I'm going to protect you—we work very closely together." He lifted an eyebrow and had a crooked smile.

"I just want to see him. I need answers okay? I don't want to get messed up in whatever things you guys are doing with Will" I shuttered. I just wanted a normal life and a ballerina. I loved my brother and he had the questions to what I was but I was never going to go along with any of his schemes.

"You would never be involved; you're too close for that. Just get your jacket on. Leave the shoes. He may want to see you actually do something" he said straightening up and pushed passed me and out the door. I saw it swing back and he was standing there guarding it.

Strange man.

**/Another chapter down, look at me just rolling with this story. I am literally not pre writing anything which is totally terrible but I have a goal in mind for the climax of this story already and I'm just kind of working with that. I find I do better when I don't have constraints for where I need to head you know? **

**Anyway so I'm kind of working a different angle then what I was going for originally. **

**I feel like I need to explain myself now but It'll all unfold. Four is now not only the son of the Mayor but part of the organization that is planning to bring him down and to top that all off. He does under ground fighting for a living because he's pissed off at the world and man is he good. **

**The next one will hold her talking to Caleb and her finding out a little bit more about herself and her background and this will also have Christina taking her out somewhere with will and we may finally get to experience Four and his utter rawness for being able to beat the shit out of someone, in not such an elegant fashion and put together like how we have seen him. **


End file.
